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Bringing rum to work would be bad, right?

Oh. My. GODS.

I think i'm up to 17 reasons now...yeah, i'm pretty sure it's 17...so here it is...reason #17 why people suck: The nasty old lady.

Hard of hearing i can handle...that "old people" accent, i can deal...but nasty old women are in a class all by themselves...and i suppose i really shouldn't bitch too much, since i want to grow up to BE a nasty old lady...on the other hand, i haven't gotten that far yet, so i suppose i can still be pissy about them now...

At any rate, this is more or less the conversation i just had with the aforementioned Nasty Old Lady...

Me: Answering service for Random Trucking Company.
Nasty Old Lady: I'm sorry, who did you say you are?
Me: I'm the answering service.
NOL: Ah, the answering service.
Me: Yeah, for Random Trucking Service.
NOL: So you don't take pledges for TBN?
Me: I don't even know what that is, ma'am.
NOL: So why are you answering this number?
Me: Well, what number are you trying to reach?
NOL: This one.
Me: (taking a deep breath) What I meant is, what number did you dial?
NOL: I dialed this one.
Me: (counting to ten) What digits did you dial?
NOL: Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.
Me: (counting some more) Ma'am, I'm pretty sure you dialed the wrong number. Maybe if you tell me the number you're trying to reach, I can tell you where you went wrong.
NOL: No, I didn't dial the wrong number, missy. I dialed the number to make a pledge to TBN and you answered. So you must be the one playing games. Where are you located?
Me: Ohio.
NOL: Ah, Ohio.
Me: Yes, in Sometown, Ohio.
NOL: And you don't take pledges for TBN?
Me: I think that's been well established, yes. Now if you'd just tell me the number you're trying to reach...
NOL: No, I'm not going to give you that number.
Me: (finally lost patience) Look lady, one of three things has happened here. You're calling to set up a delivery, you've dialed the wrong number, or you're a crank caller who's wasting my time and keeping me from more important work.
NOL: CRANK CALLER? I'm not a crank caller! You're the one playing with federal phone lines, missy, and you can get in a lot of trouble for that!
Me: Actually, no I can't, since it's obvious to me you've got the wrong number. I work for a legitimate business that answers for legitimate businesses. YOU called ME, or did you forget that part?
NOL: Now look here, I know what number I dialed and I know it's the right one!
Me: Well then you need to try again. (hang up)

So the number for the Religious Nut Network has become a state secret that can't be spoken of over unsecured phone lines...and it's apparently been entrusted to Nasty Old Ladies to keep it out of the hands of young heretics like myself...

I swear, some nights, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps...



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