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'Cause I thought we were both speaking English. I mean, we HAD to be speaking English, because I understood you and I don't know any other languages except a smattering of odd phrases in French and Spanish ("El Diablo es en mi pantalones!"). So why the FUCK would you keep telling me that I can do something for you when I know DAMN WELL I can't?

Here's the conversation. Names have been changed to protect the idiotic.

Me: Answering service for X-Ray People.
Idiot Nurse: Hi, this is Idiot Nurse from Some Nursing Home. One of our patients, Jane Doe, had a Doppler done today and the doctor wants the written report.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't dispatch for results after 5pm, they're not considered an emergency.
I.N.: Excuse me? This woman might have a DVT, we need those results!
Me: I'm sorry, but results are not considered an emergency unless the whole thing was ordered stat. And since they don't do Dopplers stat, the results can't be stat either. So you'll have to call back and get the results in the morning.
I.N.: Listen to me. This patient had her Doppler at 4:30pm and the doctor's here now and needs that result!
Me: I understand what you're saying, but yelling at me isn't going to change the fact that there's no one on call that can get that result for you. Results are in the office, the on call x-ray techs are at home.
I.N.: Well, then they have someone they can get a hold of to get the results, a supervisor or something. We need that result.
Me: If you needed that result, you should have tried to get it before midnight.
I.N.: The doctor just got here and was looking for it. He's got some kind of basic report here but he wants the full written report and he wants it now.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't get it. I can't even dispatch that, the on call techs after 5pm don't have access to results.

This conversation continued in this vein for about another 5 minutes. Finally, I agreed to call the on call technician and let him clear it up. I put the message in the voice mail, called the technician and he told me, very simply, that the Dopplers are outsourced and that the company he works for won't even have the results until tomorrow morning (Tuesday) anyway because the Doppler was done after 3pm. So, I call the nursing home back to tell them.

I.N.: Hi, this is Idiot Nurse from Some Nursing Home, how can I help you?
Me: Hi Idiot, this is Me from the answering service for the X-Ray People. I just spoke to my on call tech and he said that the Dopplers are all outsourced and any Dopplers done after 3pm, they don't get the results until the next morning anyway.
I.N.: I see.
Me: Yeah. Which is what I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. So you'll have to call back in the morning to get that result.
I.N.: So what are we supposed to do? She could have a DVT!
Me: Send her to the ER, get another one? I don't know ma'am, I really don't. But if you needed a report on this right away, the order for it should have stated that. There's nothing more I can do.
I.N.: Right. And what was your name?
Me: I'm Thelma. (SOOOOOOO not my real name!)
I.N.: Ok...(under her breath) Thelma from the answering service. (Back to a regular tone) Okay then, thanks.

I hung up before that bitch could piss me off any more.

I mean come on! It's not like I was being deliberately difficult! I've worked here a long time, I know what can and can't be dispatched at what times for EVERY client I have. So why these fucking idiots have to act like I'm doing something JUST to piss them off is beyond me.

So, there it is. Yet another reason people suck. Just because YOU want it, doesn't mean you can have it, and no amount of bitching at me is going to make it happen.

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rowenadevandal
rowenadevandal

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