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Writer's Block: I'm sorry

If you only had one day left to live, and you had the chance to tell one person from your past "I love you," who would it be? How about "I'm sorry"?

My most recent ex, for both.
'Cause I thought we were both speaking English. I mean, we HAD to be speaking English, because I understood you and I don't know any other languages except a smattering of odd phrases in French and Spanish ("El Diablo es en mi pantalones!"). So why the FUCK would you keep telling me that I can do something for you when I know DAMN WELL I can't?

Here's the conversation. Names have been changed to protect the idiotic.

Me: Answering service for X-Ray People.
Idiot Nurse: Hi, this is Idiot Nurse from Some Nursing Home. One of our patients, Jane Doe, had a Doppler done today and the doctor wants the written report.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't dispatch for results after 5pm, they're not considered an emergency.
I.N.: Excuse me? This woman might have a DVT, we need those results!
Me: I'm sorry, but results are not considered an emergency unless the whole thing was ordered stat. And since they don't do Dopplers stat, the results can't be stat either. So you'll have to call back and get the results in the morning.
I.N.: Listen to me. This patient had her Doppler at 4:30pm and the doctor's here now and needs that result!
Me: I understand what you're saying, but yelling at me isn't going to change the fact that there's no one on call that can get that result for you. Results are in the office, the on call x-ray techs are at home.
I.N.: Well, then they have someone they can get a hold of to get the results, a supervisor or something. We need that result.
Me: If you needed that result, you should have tried to get it before midnight.
I.N.: The doctor just got here and was looking for it. He's got some kind of basic report here but he wants the full written report and he wants it now.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't get it. I can't even dispatch that, the on call techs after 5pm don't have access to results.

This conversation continued in this vein for about another 5 minutes. Finally, I agreed to call the on call technician and let him clear it up. I put the message in the voice mail, called the technician and he told me, very simply, that the Dopplers are outsourced and that the company he works for won't even have the results until tomorrow morning (Tuesday) anyway because the Doppler was done after 3pm. So, I call the nursing home back to tell them.

I.N.: Hi, this is Idiot Nurse from Some Nursing Home, how can I help you?
Me: Hi Idiot, this is Me from the answering service for the X-Ray People. I just spoke to my on call tech and he said that the Dopplers are all outsourced and any Dopplers done after 3pm, they don't get the results until the next morning anyway.
I.N.: I see.
Me: Yeah. Which is what I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. So you'll have to call back in the morning to get that result.
I.N.: So what are we supposed to do? She could have a DVT!
Me: Send her to the ER, get another one? I don't know ma'am, I really don't. But if you needed a report on this right away, the order for it should have stated that. There's nothing more I can do.
I.N.: Right. And what was your name?
Me: I'm Thelma. (SOOOOOOO not my real name!)
I.N.: Ok...(under her breath) Thelma from the answering service. (Back to a regular tone) Okay then, thanks.

I hung up before that bitch could piss me off any more.

I mean come on! It's not like I was being deliberately difficult! I've worked here a long time, I know what can and can't be dispatched at what times for EVERY client I have. So why these fucking idiots have to act like I'm doing something JUST to piss them off is beyond me.

So, there it is. Yet another reason people suck. Just because YOU want it, doesn't mean you can have it, and no amount of bitching at me is going to make it happen.
So yeah, here I am. It's been a while, but people haven't been sucking in new and different ways for the most part...until now.

So, naturally, I'm at work, eating malted milk balls, minding my own business, when I get the following call. For the record, it was for a tire company, so I will refer to the caller as "Asshole Tire Dude" or ATD for short.

Me: Answering service for Random Tire Company
Asshole Tire Dude: Hi, this is Dick from Some Trucking Service and I have a driver that needs a tire.
Me: Okay, no problem. I need some information first. Could I get your phone number?
ATD: Sure it's 1-800-555-1234.
Me: Okay thanks. Now, what kind of tire is it? What size?
ATD: A LoPro 22.5.
Me: All right. Which tire on the truck is it?
ATD: Oh, I don't know. I didn't ask. I'd have to call the driver back to find out.
Me: Well, is he off the highway completely or on the shoulder?
ATD: Oh, off the highway.
Me: Then it doesn't matter that much. So, uh, where is the truck located?
ATD: Exit 5 at the old Truck Stop.
Me: Which exit 5?
ATD: What do you mean, which exit 5?
Me: Sir, I have a state route and 3 interstates running through this town. Most of them have an exit 5 somewhwere, so I need to know where your driver is exactly.
ATD: He's off exit at the old Truck Stop. I don't know more than that.
Me: Well, can you call your driver and call me back with the information? I can't dispatch this call without knowing where the driver is.
ATD: No, but I will call my driver and call someone else who actually wants to help me!
Me: Sir, it's not that I don't want to help you, but...(he hangs up right here.)

WHAT THE FUCK??? At any point did I say that I wasn't going to help? Did I EVER mention that I had no intention to help? No, I simply said that I needed certain information to dispatch the call, that's all. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!!

But wait!! THERE'S MORE!!

ATD did end up calling back...on a DIFFERENT tire company that I answer for! Here's THAT conversation!

Me: Answering service for Another Tire Company.
ATD: Hi, this is Dick from Some Trucking Service and I have a driver that needs a tire changed.
Me: (grinding my teeth) Okay, let me get some information first. What's your call back number?
ATD: 1-800-555-1234
Me: Okay, and the tire size?
ATD: LoPro 22.5
Me: Got it. Which tire on the truck is it?
ATD: I'm not sure, I didn't ask.
Me: That's okay. And where is the truck located?
ATD: Exit 5 off I-123 about 1/2 mile north of the toll road at the old Truck Stop. (OMFG WAS THAT SO HARD TO FIND OUT??)
Me: Okay thanks. Now, just so you know, this is the same person you spoke to for Some Tire Company, and I want you to know that I wasn't trying to be unhelpful or that I didn't want to help you. But if I don't know where your driver is, I can't dispatch the on call technician. Had you given me the same answer on this account, I would have said the same thing, that I can't dispatch without your driver's location. It's the same for Other Tire Company, that I also answer for. I have rules I have to follow on each call or I can't even dispatch it. I can't just send a guy out to drive all over the greater My City area looking for your guy. Do you understand?
ATD: Yeah.
Me: Fine. I'll put you through to my on call tech. Just remember the info we'll need for future reference.

So, I patched him to my on call guy, told him what had happened and ended with "So yeah, if this dude has anything to say about me, then yeah, I probably did that." The on call guy just laughed and said "Okay, but if he's the asshole you're making him sound like, I don't blame ya."

So, here we have reason number whatever (I lost count) why people suck: I don't ask these questions for my health, ya know. I really need the info!!

I knew things were going too well...

I should know better than to start thinking "wow, stuff isn't sucking like it used to". 'Cause as soon as I do, every single stupid, crazy, bitchy or just plain evil person has to crawl out of the woodwork and call me.

I've been at work (as of this sentence) exactly one hour and four minutes. In that time, I've encountered the following:

1 woman who can't figure out if her uterine implant is where it's supposed to be, so she wants a midwife to call her and talk her through figuring this out. But the midwives take NO birth control related calls after hours. Her last words before hanging up? "Fine, whatever, it's just my relationship on the line because I can't have sex and I'm going to wind up divorced over this." (Editor's note: Any man who starts threatening to divorce a woman only seven weeks after she had his baby is the kind of man who should be kicked to the curb anyway. There are more important things in life than your dick. Deal with it.)

1 NOL who croaked the following: "Oh yeah, Dr. Whatever, he's nothing but a bully and incompetent and he never gives me my medicine when I need it and he's just a bad doctor, so there!"

1 doctor on vacation, but no one from the doctor's office informed US of this tidbit of very important information. Silly me, I thought getting the patient taken care of was my main priority, so I finally called another doctor from the practice. Here's more or less how that conversation went:

Me: "I have a patient of Dr. Whoever on the line, Jane Doe, but Dr. Whoever hasn't answered our pages."
Dr. BitchCanGoDie: "Dr. Whoever is on vacation."
Me: "Oh, well no one told us that, I'm sorry."
Dr. BitchCanGoDie: "I didn't know it was my job to inform you of these things."
Me: "Well, usually someone from your staff would let us know and tell us who's covering for her, but no one did, that's all I'm saying."
Dr. BitchCanGoDie: "Well I don't know what the staff does, so it's not my problem."
Me: "Anyway, I have this patient here, do you want to talk to her?"
Dr. BitchCanGoDie: "Oh, so now I'M covering for Dr. Whoever?"
Me: "I don't know who's covering for her, no one told us, we've been through that. It doesn't change the fact that I have one of her patients on the line with a severely sore and swollen throat who can't swallow and she wants to talk to someone."
Dr. BitchCanGoDie: "I wasn't aware that I was going to have to cover for Dr. Whoever, so I don't understand why you're bothering me in the middle of the night with this."
Me: "Look, if you want me to call Dr. Whatsit, just tell me and I'll do that. But the patient said she saw you last and wanted to talk to you, so I called you. It's kind of my job."
Dr. BitchCanGoDie: "Fine, whatever, put her through, but I'm talking to my staff and your boss tomorrow."
Me: "Good luck with that. My boss quit." (Patched call and hung up.)


1 death call, which is bad enough on its own. But when I gave the call to the funeral director, it was like trying to have a conversation with someone who's severely retarded. I told him the address FIVE TIMES and he still didn't get it right ("1234 Something Road?" "No, 4321 Something DRIVE." "Oh, 4321 Something Road." "NO. 4321 Something DRIVE." "Oh ok, got it." ::headdesk::). He couldn't seem to spell anything right, even when I went letter by letter ("Her last name is S like in Sam, M like in Mary, I like in ice, T like in Tom, H like in Henry." "Ok, so it's S-M-I-D-T-H." "No, no D! Smith! Like in Smith!" "Well why did you say D then?" ::headdesk::). And he asked me FOUR TIMES for the name of the facility where the deceased was ("She's at The Nursing Home in Sometown." "And what's the address there?" ::sigh:: "4321 Something Drive." "Oh, ok." [two minutes later] "Now, what's the name of the facility at 4321 Something Road?" ::headdesk::).

1 guy who doesn't understand that a Ford pickup truck, no matter how big it is, is not now nor will it ever be a semi truck. Period. Which means no, none of the tire people I answer for will ever come change his tires after 6pm. It's not going to happen EVER. And calling me more than once about it is never going to change that fact.


Yes, all that happened in the first hour and four minutes of my shift. So now I have many more reasons why people suck. Not that I needed any more, mind you. But people keep stepping up to the plate and exceeding my people suck expectations. Honestly, I don't want any more reasons to believe that people suck. I have plenty as it is. But you and I both know that it's not over. Oh no. Someone out there is just waiting to prove to me that people can suck even more than they already do.

I just hope that when that finally happens, I'll have developed the mutant ability to slap people around through the phone lines.

And I thought my callers were morons

Yeah, I haven't updated in a while. I haven't really had anything new to talk about, just a long line of the same old, same old...you know the cast of characters, the PGBs, the Nasty Old Ladies, the doctors who can't be bothered to practice their profession and all the others I've spoken of here. Well, I have a new category and I'll add it to my tags if it becomes an issue.

See, we moved to a new office back in the spring. A pretty, roach-free, centrally heated and air conditioned new office. We have a new computer system, complete with internet at every station and walls that are actually not painted beige. However, along with the new office, we also got a crop of new employees and even a new office manager. I don't really have to deal with any of them very much, since I work alone and prefer it that way, but they still make their presence felt.

I'm not sure who this rant is directed at specifically, but I have my suspicions. Pretty much all of 2nd shift is new people, including T (who I like), N (who I have no opinion on really) and S (who I pretty much hate with the fiery passion of a thousand suns going supernova at the same time). I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to figure who I'm suspecting here. But let's take a look at what I was left with when I walked in last night.

Sink full of dishes: check
Trash cans emptied, but no new bags put in: check
My personal belongings moved around the desk: check
Bottles of condiments thrown around the fridge instead of put away on the door: check
No paper in the bathrooms: haven't checked that yet, but I'll let you know.
Random bits of food and stuff on the floor: check
Desks not wiped down: check

Gods above, I could go on, but I won't. I'm sure I don't have to. I just can't believe that I'm left with the same list of shit to do every night, no matter how many times I tell these people where to find the stuff to do their jobs! I had a note on the notice board for THREE WEEKS that said "Trash bags are on the shelf next to the other bathroom". Since the notice board is next to one bathroom, with no shelves nearby, one would think that there ARE shelves next to the other bathroom in the back office and that trash bags can be found there. I have also told everyone where to find the disinfecting cleaner and paper towels, so they can clean up the desks before they leave. I had the fridge arranged so that people could fit their food containers in there and the condiments would be on the door to make them eaiser to find. And everyone on first shift leaves my personal shit alone, so why 2nd shift can't is a mystery for the ages.

Now it's December and 'tis the season to be forced into a good mood or something. I'm not actually a big fan of Christmas, for my own personal reasons, but if there's one thing that'll make me happy, it's pissing someone else off. And when I told the 2nd shift girls on their way out one night that I was planning to decorate the office for the holiday, S went off on this rant about how no one wanted the place decorated and no one cared and that she hates Christmas and doesn't want it shoved down her throat and yadda yadda yadda. So I'm going WAY over the top this year with decorations. And I also know for a fact that out of the 12 people who work here, 10 of them really like the decorations. I don't, even though I like the actual act of putting them up and I can admit that the results are pleasing to the eye, and S, who I hope chokes on every bit of tinsel that I put on the tree this year.

Anyway, that's my rant for now. I'm sure my lovely co-workers will come up with another thing soon enough that'll drive me back here to rant again. I'm very sorry I was gone for so long, but I haven't been this irritated in a very long time. And although I love each and every one of you, I really hope I'm not back too soon.

Non-work related rant

I know! I'm amazed myself! :)

So, some of you may know that i write fan fiction. Yes, i'm now a super-geek, but that all right with me. The downside is that the fandom i write for (X-Men: The Movie) isn't like other fandoms that have big sites with lots of people to read your stuff. No, every other site i've found have been centered around pairing Logan and Rogue and well...no. Just no. I don't write that, i WON'T write that, so i had very few choices. I could write these stories and post them nowhere. Or, i could go to ::gulp:: FanFiction.net.

Well, i wanted to share, so FFN is where i went. I had heard from my sister that it wasn't a very good site, that it was usually called "The Pit of Voles" in the greater fanfiction community, but there were still plenty of people who, like me, have nowhere else to go.

I have to say, at first it wasn't so bad. I must have lucked out and found the handful of stories in my chosen fandom that weren't complete and utter dreck, because i couldn't understand why the place was called "The Pit". And then it happened. I clicked on story that looked all right in the summary, but the actual story?

Bad spelling? Check
Bad grammar? Check
Spotty punctuation? Check check check etc.
Ignorance of source material? BIG CHECK
Horrible original character? Check

So, i did what any normal, helpful-type person would do: I left a review with suggestions on how to improve their story by simply fixing the technical aspects. I received a reply from the whiny bitch, wanting to know "y r u flamming me u dum bich? Tihs iz jsut my riting stile, yo!"

That was over a year ago.

Now, there's a movement on the site of good writers who want the posting guidelines to be enforced. For those of you who don't know, the guidelines aren't that difficult:

Spell and grammar check your work, or enlist a beta reader. (I do both)
Don't write in "chatspeak".
Don't write about non-fictional or non-historical people.
Don't post in all bold/caps/italics.
Don't put comments in the midst of your story.
No "choose your own adventure" type stories.
No script/screenplay format.
No polls, "bloopers", lengthy author's notes or original fiction.
No "songfics" or use of previously published works not in the public domain.

Doesn't seem that difficult, does it? You'd be surprised. (Well, YOU won't be, sis and neither will you, Zac. But others might. Really.) I decided to check out the forums, see what people were saying and i found one run by the most awesome guy on the whole site, an unapologetic flame reviewer called "Flame Rising". And through that forum, i discovered that these problems were EVERYWHERE. And through there and other forums is where i found out i wasn't alone in wanting the aforementioned guidelines to be strictly enforced, because it isn't fair that a small percentage of us take them to heart, while the rest pretend they don't exist at all.

And then i found this:

"It's all well and good to have a policy of "always make it readable", but how do we enforce it, and for that matter, SHOULD we enforce it? It's not simply a matter of overactive 8-year-olds posting drivel. What about authors for whom English is not the first language? What about dyslexics? What about the ten thousand other exceptions, and for that matter, what about the person who's just a bad writer?

Seriously, what about them? What about the people who cannot write to save their lives, who write flaccid, horrible, cliche-ridden prose that barely qualifies as legible? If they wish to write... why SHOULD they be shut out? I'm asking honestly." (Posted by General Havoc in the "Writing Improvement" forum.)

There's a lot more, but in a nutshell he's saying that enforcing the guidelines is unfair to the untalented and the lazy. WTF? If they're untalented, they should learn early that maybe writing isn't the best outlet for them and if they're lazy, they need to learn that laziness will not get them any points ever in life. I can just see a legal brief written by one of those idiots:

"So liek teh compunnny wuz puttin toksic waist in2 teh layk n liek, taht's reel bad lol."

Or how about a police report?

"Teh dood holded up teh likker stoar wit a 9 mil n he shooted teh clurk."

How about a newspaper article?

"Tehy keep sayin taht spellin wurdz rite iz imoprtnat cuz if u dont u luk stoopid. I tihnk itz ghey, yo lol."

(On the other hand, this could explain how Dubya got to be president...but i digress..)

Tell me, if you came across spelling like this on a job application that crossed your desk, would YOU hire them? Or would you go with the one who took care to make sure you knew what they were saying? I can't see how they're going to pass JUNIOR HIGH, much less make it in the real world after they get out of school!

So, is it unfair? Should these morons be allowed to continue to post in the manner i used above or should they have to make their stories readable too? Should we "give them a break" or make them conform to the minimum standards that they HAVE to agree to before they can even post?

I say yes. I could spell circles around everyone since first grade. I learned grammar basics in elementary school, had further grammar education in high school and by the end of my senior year, i had all the rules down. I had points taken off my work if the spelling and grammar were poor, so i don't understand how these kids are getting through school if this is the standard they hold themselves to! Why should a handful of decent writers on that site be looked down upon by the greater community, simply because of where we choose to post?

These lazy ass children need a wakeup call and if taking down their stories until they're fixed is what it takes, so be it.

Not sure where to put that in my brain

Ok...so normally, when i'm posting about hospital staff, it's because someone's pissed me off...but sometimes i get one of the very few who DON'T piss me off and that's usually a pretty good time for all...case in point:

Spoke to a nurse at one of the hospitals tonight...as i answered the phone, she was laughing, so i said "Sounds like i missed something funny!" She replies with "Oh, you have NO idea!" and launches into her story...

Seems they had just admitted a patient who was going through withdrawal...from caffeine...when asked how much caffeine s/he (nurse didn't specify if the patient was a man or a woman) consumed in one day, patient replied "Oh, about thirteen pots of coffee a day."

Blink. Blinkblink.

And i thought *I* was bad with drinking up to five cups in a work shift! How could this person even see with their eyeballs vibrating like that? Or sign their own name to the admission forms without it looking like they were writing in a moving car?

I will never ever worry that i drink too much coffee again...

Losing faith in the medical profession

I'm really starting to hate doctors...i mean, more than just the whole money-gouging thing that pisses everyone off...i guess it's because i'm used to MY doctor, who is by far the coolest doctor on the planet and i'm totally spoiled by him...i never have a problem getting to talk to him if i need to, i don't get charged an arm and a leg for an office visit and if i can't any prescribed medication for 4 bucks at one of the many pharmacies that are doing that these days, he'll make sure to send me home with enough samples of what i need to get me through...in short, i'm spoiled rotten by my doctor...

But i talk to people from all over the place all night long and yeah, i might bitch and complain about them on here all the time, but sometimes i actually DO understand why they're calling...i mean, if *I* had a sick five-year-old with a fever and complaining of bad stomach cramps just a day or so after receiving a polio vaccine, i'd call the doctor too...but to have the doctor give a comment like "And she thinks this is an emergency at 3:00 in the morning?" just pisses me off to no end...

And this doctor isn't the only one! I have a few doctors who want us to triage calls for them and only to put through "real emergencies" between certain hours...well how the hell am i supposed to know? I'm not a medical professional...i was a fucking ENGLISH MAJOR for fuck's sake! Want me to check grammar? No problem! But if someone says to me "the patient is complaining of severe neck pain and is having trouble breathing", that sounds pretty important to me! Or the one time when a facility called me at midnight with a new admit to their unit and the patient needed a sleeping pill...the doctor i called had the nerve to call me back and yell at me because that could have waited until 6:00AM! WHAT THE FUCK? I don't know about you, but if i don't get at least a few hours sleep, i'm absolutely useless...and i need even more if i'm ill...so if a person is sick enough to warrant admission to a hospital or nursing home, i would think that sleep would be a priority!

Seriously, whatever happened to people who went into medical professions out of a personal desire to actually help people? Are there any people like that left out there? Or are they all just in it to make money and that's why they can't be bothered to actually take care of their patients outside of the office? Because seriously, if you don't care enough about your patients to take their calls when they need you, why are you a doctor in the first place? Hell, i have a couple doctors who still do HOUSE CALLS, but the vast majority, over 99% of them, can hardly be assed to advise a patient after hours, much less a hospital or nursing home unless it's a "real emergency".

And people wonder why i try to treat my own illnesses as much as i possibly can...not because i don't love my doctor and not because he doesn't try his best to take care of me...but because his colleagues have embittered me to the profession and i don't want to be the patient who calls for every little thing from hangnails and splinters to sniffles and headaches...i only call when it's important and whether that relates directly to the care i get from doctor or not is besides the point...i just don't want to be that person...

And don't EVEN get me started about the veterinarians!

Bringing rum to work would be bad, right?

Oh. My. GODS.

I think i'm up to 17 reasons now...yeah, i'm pretty sure it's 17...so here it is...reason #17 why people suck: The nasty old lady.

Hard of hearing i can handle...that "old people" accent, i can deal...but nasty old women are in a class all by themselves...and i suppose i really shouldn't bitch too much, since i want to grow up to BE a nasty old lady...on the other hand, i haven't gotten that far yet, so i suppose i can still be pissy about them now...

At any rate, this is more or less the conversation i just had with the aforementioned Nasty Old Lady...

Me: Answering service for Random Trucking Company.
Nasty Old Lady: I'm sorry, who did you say you are?
Me: I'm the answering service.
NOL: Ah, the answering service.
Me: Yeah, for Random Trucking Service.
NOL: So you don't take pledges for TBN?
Me: I don't even know what that is, ma'am.
NOL: So why are you answering this number?
Me: Well, what number are you trying to reach?
NOL: This one.
Me: (taking a deep breath) What I meant is, what number did you dial?
NOL: I dialed this one.
Me: (counting to ten) What digits did you dial?
NOL: Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.
Me: (counting some more) Ma'am, I'm pretty sure you dialed the wrong number. Maybe if you tell me the number you're trying to reach, I can tell you where you went wrong.
NOL: No, I didn't dial the wrong number, missy. I dialed the number to make a pledge to TBN and you answered. So you must be the one playing games. Where are you located?
Me: Ohio.
NOL: Ah, Ohio.
Me: Yes, in Sometown, Ohio.
NOL: And you don't take pledges for TBN?
Me: I think that's been well established, yes. Now if you'd just tell me the number you're trying to reach...
NOL: No, I'm not going to give you that number.
Me: (finally lost patience) Look lady, one of three things has happened here. You're calling to set up a delivery, you've dialed the wrong number, or you're a crank caller who's wasting my time and keeping me from more important work.
NOL: CRANK CALLER? I'm not a crank caller! You're the one playing with federal phone lines, missy, and you can get in a lot of trouble for that!
Me: Actually, no I can't, since it's obvious to me you've got the wrong number. I work for a legitimate business that answers for legitimate businesses. YOU called ME, or did you forget that part?
NOL: Now look here, I know what number I dialed and I know it's the right one!
Me: Well then you need to try again. (hang up)

So the number for the Religious Nut Network has become a state secret that can't be spoken of over unsecured phone lines...and it's apparently been entrusted to Nasty Old Ladies to keep it out of the hands of young heretics like myself...

I swear, some nights, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps...
So what am i up to these days? Fourteen reasons? Fifteen? Well, whatever i'm at, this is the newest one: People who refuse to listen to simple fucking instructions...

It's becoming more and more difficult to be patient with these people...and unlike the PGB(tm), the NPGB(tm), the Snarky Nurses, Rude Unit Clerks and others that i've ranted about, these people are in an entirely different class...let's call them "Too Cheap to Drive"...the reason i say that is because their rides are generally covered by health insurance...i'll explain that in a bit, because that's where this all begins...

We started answering for a transport company a few months ago that picks people up and takes them to doctor's appointments, surgeries, dialysis and even a couple methadone patients...oddly enough, it's the junkies we have the least trouble with, but i digres...at any rate, these people will call me starting a little after 4:30 in the morning because their rides are late...and by "late" i mean "a 4:30AM ride didn't show up by 4:31AM"...yes, you read that right...gods forbid their driver get stuck in traffic or at a rail crossing or get detoured by construction or an accident...oh no, these people expect everyone to be 100% punctual at all times and if not, guess who gets yelled at? That should be obvious, since i'm here to rant...

At any rate, this TCtD(tm) bitch calls in because her ride's late (4:45am ride wasn't there by 4:46am)...i tell her to wait 15 minutes and if they're not there, call me back...well, she waited 10, then started to get all uppity with me...so i told her "Ma'am, what i need you to do is wait about 5 minutes and call the office back..." at which point she cut me off to continue ranting about her missing ride...so i tried to cut in, so i could explain to her that all she had to do was wait until 5:00AM (the real one, not the one by her obviously fast clock), call the office number and push "0" to get through to the office...because although they don't physically OPEN until 6:00am, there's someone ther at 5:00 just in case...

So what does this TCtD(tm) bitch do next? Tells me to fuck off and hangs up...

Yep, hating people just a little bit more every day...